Confessions of a Hawthorne Fangirl

I'm watching you...and then writing about it.

A rare still of Shirley and Annie.

I love this picture because it perfectly illustrates the dark side of both Shirley’s and Annie’s leadership styles.

It’s Shirley’s Regina George (the Queen Bee who surrounds herself with sycophants) meets Annie’s Iago (the manipulative power behind the throne).






  • if you were up to date your computer was probably running windows 95
  • there was no standard word processing application (I used Word Perfect, who remembers that one?)
  • “the internet” was usually synonymous with…

You’re forgetting Usenet!

Which mostly existed before there was a WWW or Internet Navigator. (Whoops! I’m outing my age. Potentially.) I remember the day Google bought Usenet and turned it into Google Groups. Which doesn’t exist any more. 

Plus:  I was an Alta Vista GODDESS! I knew all the tricks to make those search results more accurate (BOOLEAN EXPRESSIONS FTW!)

Also, too:  GET OFF MY LAWN!


If you have any interest in film at all, I would really appreciate it if you followed my film blog. I initially set it up because the Rotten Tomatoes forums shut down, and I wanted a place where my friends from there could find me without having to wade through all of my fandom stuff.

But I spent a lot of yesterday applying for scholarships and looking into film programs at the colleges I’m applying to. I also spent some time talking to family and friends about my plans for the future, and the possibility of finally publishing my book about Pre-Code Hollywood.

I’m going to be studying film history. I intend to get my doctorate and go into teaching and archiving, specifically preservation. I’d also like to write about film history and, as I mentioned, I’ve already been working on one about pre-code Hollywood.

Having a place where I exclusively talk about film, where my work can be found, is something that has the potential to be very important in my future education and career. And it would be even better if that place had a decent amount of followers. Not just because being somewhat known would raise my profile in the film history community, but also because being able to answer questions thoroughly and partake in discussion is something that really matters in the field.

So I would really super appreciate it if you followed my blog and, if you would be really super duper awesome and sweet, reblog this post and share with anyone you know who is a little bit interested in film. 

And I’ll always be thrilled to answer any questions, partake in any discussions about anything film related, not just classic film/film history related over at Kiki Talks Movies.

Reblogging for the film buffs on my dash.

I have developed a certain fondness for the men’s rights activists know as MRA’s, or more colloquially:  ‘Restraining-Order-Americans.’

Normally you would have to turn to PETA or Code Pink to find a group whose words and deeds are so completely detrimental to their aims and just make people go, “Ugh, pass.” But the MRA’s are special …. and yes, I mean they are ‘special’ in a very ‘special’ way.  Like libertarians , they sound perfectly rational for the first ten minutes or so and then –suddenly and without warning — the crazy starts to bubble up to the surface and a new chapter in the DSM-5 is born.

In doing some research on these jolly fellows –BECAUSE I WANT TO BE FAIR — I discovered a delightful hither-to unbeknownst to me acronym: MGTOW, which I came to learn  means: Men Going Their Own Way.

I have followed the fabulous Tbogg (aka the fabulous Tom Boggioni) since the beginning of his blogging career when he had his own little porch on teh Internets (that series of tubes).

He is always on point, and always hilarious. I recommend a regular dose of reading him. His take on the MRAs is hilarious  and spot-on.

Also, to:  if you’re someone who generally avoids the comments, especially when it comes to MRAs, have no fear in this case. The commenters on this one really do pound the MRAs to paste. It’s like a wordy equivalent of whack-a-mole.

Lyrics of this song (“Beautifully,” if you’re curious) just simply break my heart when I hear them.

The video is…not what I expected. It’s not bad, and it does fit, but doesn’t quite match the images I had in my head.

Seriously, though. Give it a listen.

Warning:  Heartbreaking subject matter.

Admittedly, most people in the world do not live near “destination cities for international tourism.”

I, it should be noted, am not most people. To be fair, I actually love living in Massachusetts (aka, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, or, as I like to call it, the People’s Republic of Massachusetts), and I actually love the fact that I live in the Boston area.

Although, I admit that sometimes tourists do drive me a bit insane. Enough that about six year ago I made a slightly ranty post about All the Tourists I’ve Loved (and Not Loved) Before because I got pushed to the breaking point by a rude tourist. (PROTIP:  Real cities are not theme parks, so stop acting like all of the locals should be wearing colorful costumes and speaking in an exaggerated patois. We are not your playthings. Thank you.)

The best thing I love about it? I quite often get to read about my home through the eyes of other people.

Even the bad stuff.

Which is why I kind of love Boston Tourist Attractions, According to Unhappy Yelp Reviewers feature that went up today online. I’m not sure which is funnier. The reviews that miss point, or the answering snark from the Boston Globe.

This is has got to be my favorite one:


For the record, Arnold Arboretum isn’t actually just about trees, which anyone with access to a Web browser will be able to see here.

Oooh, and this one’s another favorite:


For real information on the Freedom Trail, go here.

You’re very welcome, America.

What makes this especially retroactively funny is that when this joke happened, Jeff was 36 and rounding the corner to 37. That frozen smile on his face just screams, “I can feel the liver spots breaking out on the back of my hands! And are my crows’ feet digging into the sides of my fivehead? THEY ARE! AHHHHHH!”


I would not be averse to a joke where Jeff makes a reference to something from the early 90s, and Annie nods like she knows what he’s talking about, only to whip out her phone to look up the reference the second Jeff’s back is turned.

If she does it while she’s naked in bed with Jeff? It would make the whole episode for me. (Shippas are gonna ship, people.)

Hell, according to Alison Brie, this is something she, Danny Pudi, and Gillian Jacobs do all the time when they read a script and don’t get the references in the script.

(via nyclove3)



please be courteous this 4th. of July if you have a veteran in your neighborhood 

actually signal boost this please

I almost never signal boost (I dislike the slacktivist mindset of Tumblr), but this was something that never occurred to me.
So worth putting out there.



please be courteous this 4th. of July if you have a veteran in your neighborhood 

actually signal boost this please

I almost never signal boost (I dislike the slacktivist mindset of Tumblr), but this was something that never occurred to me.

So worth putting out there.

(via onceandfuturekiki)

He loves her.

She doesn’t know.

History for the win! Read this amazing story about a crime that was reported to the police (or rather, the equivalent in Ancient Egypt) about a neighborhood dispute, theft of crops, and accusations of sorcery.

It only gets weirder from there.

From the article:

In many ways, a papyrus of this kind is not uncommon. An interesting type of document that is preserved in Egyptian papyri, but not commonly found in other types of ancient literature, are letters reporting crimes and petitioning local authorities. Often times, we in fact do not have the final version of these letters. Instead, since the final copies were sent to their recipients, earlier rough drafts or duplicate copies were either discarded, making their way to local landfills (where papyrologists can find them), or kept for private records, which is where the Brephos Papyrus was found in a group of documents from a house and courtyard in Karanis.

An ancient letter reporting a crime may not be an uncommon papyrological discovery, but the Brephos Papyrus is far from usual, as it is one of the only examples of such letters complaining about a crime that involves the use of magic. The magical spell in discussion takes the form of a fetal (not fatal) assault upon Gemellus!


I rewatched 1x06(I’m doing the reddit community rewatch[same url on there too btw]), and I have a lot of thoughts on it watching it some much later, and it wasn’t one of my ‘rewatch episodes’(which I will now change cause it’s actually one of the funniest episodes tbh). My main thought how ever…

An interesting little factoid about the Milady/Milord exchange at the end of “Football, Feminism, and You” is that it is the exact same Milady/Milord exchange that’s used in “Basic Sandwich” when Jeff looks at Annie.

There could be a couple of reasons why that particular exchange was used:

  • It could be because there are only two clear and complete Milady/Milord exchanges in the entire show run. “Spanish 101” is the first time, but there’s a lot of other background noise from the other characters that would be hard to filter out. The other is “Football, Feminism, and You,” which would only require production to filter out the musical cues. All other Milady/Milord exchanges are incomplete, as in “Intro to Political Science” where Jeff says “Milady” and Annie smiles in response, or broken, as in “Fistful of Paintballs” where Annie demands to know what Jeff wants after he says “Milady” (in retrospect, Jeff’s soft “Yikes” to Annie’s response seems kind of sad).
  • As for in-story reasons why that particular exchange was used for “Basic Sandwich,” “Football, Feminism, and You” also marks the first time Jeff and Annie actually have any kind of real conversation. The fight over Troy, although a fight, was actually a real conversation and it was their first one. Jeff initiates the Milady/Milord exchange at the end of the episode as an olive branch, and Annie answers to show she accepts said olive branch. Before that point, the Milady/Milord exchange seemed to be Jeff’s way of manipulating/currying favor with Annie to get at her class notes. So you might say that it’s the first time that Jeff’s employed it for something other than manipulative purposes.
  • Another in-story reason for using that particular Milady/Milord exchange is to show that, for whatever reason, it means something more to Jeff than we’ve been lead to believe. We’ve seen him use it to manipulate or attempt to manipulate Annie (in that way, it’s use in “Spanish 101” and “Fistful of Paintballs” are perfect mirror images in that what once worked on Annie now no longer works). We’ve seen him use it as an apology (“Football, Feminism, and You”). We’ve seen him use it to re-affirm their friendship (“Intro to Political Science). “Basic Sandwich” gives it a completely different angle, in which Jeff views it as an affectionate exchange that is unique only to Annie. What makes it a little sad is that, as far as we know, Jeff has not initiated the exchange since “Fistful of Paintballs” and Annie’s verbal rejection of it three years before. So it’s something he’s held on to all to all this time in some dusty corner of his brain and/or heart as something that defines his relationship to Annie.
  • Much as I hate to throw out a darker take here (but I kind of can’t resist), is that the use of the Milady/Milord exchange in “Basic Sandwich” is a signal that Jeff has started to idealize certain aspects of his relationship with Annie in much the same way that Annie used to idealize him. If anything, “Basic Sandwich” showed that although Annie does care about Jeff, and may even love him in the romantic sense, she no longer holds an idealized view of Jeff or what a relationship with him might entail. While I don’t think Jeff idealizes Annie herself (he’s known her too long for that), he might be idealizing what he thinks a relationship with Annie might be like. And that could spell big problems in the future.

Sorry. I couldn’t resist commenting on it.


Before I get started on this, everyone should still go do the accent tag! It’s fun, and it’s cool to here what people sound like.

Well, Sony is talking to Hulu so we might get season 6! Regardless of whether we do or not, how would you want to see season 6 in regards to Jeff and Annie’s relationship? 

Answer in any way you want! Essay, fic, art, anything! It’s all encouraged!

I suspect if there is a sixth season, it’s not something that’s going to happen right away. So, I would like it if some real time has passed between the events of Basic Sandwich and the start of any theoretical sixth season. And yes, that means most of the group has graduated from Greendale and are working real jobs. However, they could be taking a class or two for job-related reasons (a not-unusual reason for most community college students) if you must keep them on-campus.

I know it’s a common trope among J/A shippers that Jeff and Annie are best friends. I personally never saw it. Jeff tended not to confide in Annie, especially about things that might make him look somehow “less than” in her eyes. I think part of it is that Jeff has this fixed idea in his head about who Annie is — the 18 year-old, cardigan-wearing, ballet flat-wearing, floral dresses-wearing kid who was too romantic and too naive for her own good. That Annie, in his brain, needs to be protected, especially from that not-so-savory aspects of himself that he doesn’t want her to see. I don’t think it honestly hit him until “Basic Sandwich” that this version of Annie has grown up and moved on, and that just maybe her next move is to move on from him because he’s made one mistake too many.

Annie, by the same token, doesn’t really confide in Jeff, especially about emotional issues. Sure, during season four she tended to treat Jeff as the guy who’ll fix things for her, or help her solve her problems, but other than the UN episode of season three, that wasn’t really her default. A lot of that is due to Jeff himself. Every time she’s confided in him, or confronted him about how his behavior was affecting her, he’s shut her down, sometimes in some pretty cruel ways (Paradigms) and sometimes by straight-up playing dumb (Digital Exploration of Interior Design).

What I’d actually like to see more than anything is Jeff and Annie actually being friends. I had high hopes for this happening during season five, in large part because of the first six episodes where they acted like friends. And yes, sometimes they inconveniently noticed they were attracted to each other, like during the ACB episode, but most of the time they seemed to actually like each other, too. That dynamic cropped up again in the AAD&D episode, and again in the first half of Basic Story. I really liked how subtle it was.

But the aborted marriage plans between Jeff and Britta, I think, has thrown up a pretty solid wall between Jeff and Annie. If season six happened in the immediate aftermath of season five, I’d call Annie a fool for letting Jeff inside her emotional defenses. And that’s even if Jeff and Britta openly admitted that they whole ill-thought-out scheme was due to panic on their parts, especially since they did try to derail the Hail Mary Pass that Abed, Annie, and Dean Pelton came up with.

If we have a sense that time has passed between season five and a theoretical season six, and if we see Jeff and Annie interacting like they’re friends and trust each other enough to at least share some of the less-savory parts of themselves with each other, I would be willing to buy a mid-season hook-up.

Also, I do not want to see Community turn into the Jeff and Annie show. You could have friend-ish interactions between the two characters like you had in season one, which when you think about it, was mostly either in the background or was a single scene in an episode that didn’t necessarily focus on the two of them interacting. Then, have one episode mid-season that focuses on the two of them hooking up, and then put the relationship in the background for the remainder of the season, but making it clear when the season ends that they’re still together and still feeling their way through this new twist in their relationship.

Also, too:  I’d love it if they decide that they’re not going to tell the group, but they’re not going to hide the relationship either. And if someone in the group asks, they will answer honestly. And then have Jeff totally break down two episodes later when he confesses everything to the group, and everyone just shrugs it off because, duh, they already figured it out. Bonus points if Annie remarks that she thought that she’d break down before Jeff did. Not that this scenario is going to happen in a million years.



We covered Jeff’s feelings, so let’s cover Annie’s. We know she had a crush on him during season 1, but when do you think it went from silly crush to more? Do you think, as of the end of season 5, she’s in love with him? If so, when do you think that happened?

The easy…

I disagree that it goes back to season one. I think season one and season two, it was a straight-up crush. A crush that, during season two anyway, Jeff encouraged (I’m split on whether he knowingly or unknowingly did it.)

During season three, I think Annie truly believed it was nothing more than a crush, but I think it was starting to be a bit more than that. For one thing, she was starting to see Jeff for who he really was, warts and all. She was less willing to put up with his bullshit when it hit a certain level and she was more vocal about letting him know whenever he crossed the line with her. Yet, despite that she still definitely had feelings for him.

In VSA, Annie was telling Abed the absolute truth as she saw it. Let’s face it. When everyone is telling you that you don’t really feel what you feel or that you’re seeing things that aren’t really there, you’re pretty much left with two options: either you’re wrong, or everyone else is wrong. I don’t think Annie during season three had enough of a sense of self or enough confidence to say that everyone else was wrong. And given her personal history (her long-time hopeless crush on Troy) and her limited experience in being in a relationship, I can honestly see why Annie would view her feelings for Jeff with a certain amount of suspicion and would buy into the whole “it’s just a crush” scenario.

Season four is where we get into a problem, because the writing for Annie took a much shallower turn. Certainly, her feelings for Jeff were being written as, if not inconsequential, then certainly not very deep. In season four, the Annie-Jeff relationship was being written as an unrealistic fantasy, not just for Annie but for Jeff, too. Contrast with how the Jeff-Britta relationship was written that same season, where Britta was shown to be the true friend willing to help Jeff through his issues and listen to his worries, even though Jeff sometimes treated her like crap.

In short, the presentation for Annie’s feelings for Jeff devolved even lower than they were at the end of season one and throughout most of season two.

While season four was the season that rehabbed Britta, season five is the season the rehabbed Annie (which Dan Harmon admitted in an interview with TVLine was one of the goals of season five). Since the end of season four, Annie’s made some adult, if poor, decisions. She compromised on her change in major and rather than staying the extra time she needed to qualify for a forensics degree, she took the degree she could get. It’s unclear why she did that. Maybe she did it for financial reasons. Maybe she did it because all of her friends were leaving Greendale and she didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she decided that she just needed to move on. In any case, it was a decision that made her miserable. In addition, you get the sense that she was pretty much the adult in Apt. 303, making sure the bills got paid, Troy and Abed saved money (if unknowingly), and stuff got done.

But the big thing going into season five is that we are told that Annie has been in at least one relationship. Abed knew all the signs (Annie makes pancakes when she is in one) and knew how to manipulate using that line of attack to get what he wanted (pancakes for breakfast). Another big honking sign:  Annie’s sense of romanticism is muted. It’s still there (the holding hands at Disneyland scenario), and she still is kind of unskilled at handling it (her willingness to buy into Abed’s catfishing), but it now seems to be something she reserves for actual, active relationships.

I also think Annie, after the the Ass-Crack Bandit episode, started actively repressing her feelings for Jeff. Not because she was repelled by his negative traits, but because she figured it was a hopeless cause. Her quiet confrontation with Jeff during that episode about his behavior, and his negative reaction to it was enough of a signal at this point that she should do with Jeff what she did with Troy…back off and let time take care of the rest.

So, in a lot of ways, I think Annie was hit with the revelation that her feelings for Jeff were real — not just based on the fantasy of what could be, and not just a crush — in “Basic Sandwich,” the same episode where Jeff realized that his feelings for Annie were real.

The only difference is that Annie beat Jeff to that realization by an hour or two, and her particular crisis wasn’t a locked room, but a no-win scenario that faintly echoed the no-win scenario she found herself in during Paradigms. Just suggesting that Jeff and Britta were being ridiculous, without even putting her own feelings and her own relationship with Jeff into the equation, was enough to get Britta jumping down her throat (but not Jeff, interestingly enough, who didn’t even try to engage Annie at all). Pushing further than she did was going to solve nothing.

Annie finally got her chance to at least signal her feelings in Borchart’s lab. People feel what they feel, and it’s not right and it’s not fair to put them down for that. It’s also not right, nor is it fair, to impose what you may want on others who may not want to same thing, even if you think what they want is self-destructive and empty and leading them to make ill-advised decisions.

So, to sum up:  I vote straight-up crush for seasons one and two; deepening feelings during seasons three and four; and the realization that it just might be love at the end of season five.

I suspect my opinion isn’t going to be too popular, though.

Title:  Seminar in How to Make the Most of It When You’re Stuck in the C-Plot
Author: Lizbeth Marcs

Summary: Or the Alternate Title:  How Jeff Winger and Annie Edison missed out the Great War with City College and the Giant Mechanical Spider of Doom and the Greatest Love Story Ever Told while Abed Nadir, Britta Perry, Buzz Hickey, and Shirley Bennett saved the world.

Genre: Humor; ship fic
Rating: PG
Series: Community
Characters: Annie Edison (main), Jeff Winger (secondary), Dean Spreck, Abed Nadir, Britta Perry, Buzz Hickey, Shirley Bennett, Dean Pelton
Pairings: Annie/Jeff (friendshippy UST with a vague resolution, because I suck as a shipper)

Warnings: Vague spoilers for all of S1—S5. Occurs a month after “Basic Sandwich.”

Author’s Note: Written for greta_garbo/onceandfuturekiki for the Secret Santa fic-fest. (Sorry it’s so late!) Story somewhat inspired by “Geothermal Escapism” from S5 Community and “The Zeppo” from S3 Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The first one due to Jeff and Annie actually occupying the C-plot of that episode, and the second one because as C-plot characters they have no idea about what’s happening in the A and B plots.

Link to story (AO3 and will be added later)

the last winger speech

And it was given by Annie Edison.